Toby Tomlinson Baker

Though she only attended DVFriends for a short time, the experience had a profound impact on Toby Tomlinson Baker, a special education teacher, and a researcher and doctoral scholar at Pepperdine University in California. Toby came to DVFriends for 7th and 8th grades. After eighth grade, Toby was able to return to public school because of what she learned at DVFriends. She entered back into the public school as a 10th grader – where she would have been had she not been held back in a previous school and graduated on time. After high school, Toby attended Adelphi University, where she received a BFA in Theater, and later, she earned a Master’s from Cabrini University along with several special education certificates. After working as a therapist for students with Autism for six years and teaching Special Education for ten years, Toby realized that she wanted to do more. Ultimately, she decided to go to Pepperdine University to pursue a doctorate in Global Leadership and Change. Her doctoral research centers on creating equal access to college for students with learning differences as well as what factors affect the ability of high school students with learning differences to pursue higher education. She expects to complete her degree in January, 2021. Toby has presented her research at several national and international conferences and has been recognized for her teaching and advocacy for learning disabled students by several organizations including Learning Disabilities of America. She received a Certificate of Recognition from her school district as a top performing teacher and for professional learning and leadership development. Toby was also selected as CHADD’s (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) 2018 Educator of the Year.

 

I came to DVFriends in 7th grade from a parochial school. I attended 6 different schools between kindergarten and twelfth grade – 4 of those before I came to Delaware Valley Friends. At that time it was still a new school in Bryn Mawr and the classes were held in old dormitory rooms on the campus of Harcum College. I knew immediately that it was for me. It didn’t seem like school, it felt more like home. I was welcomed.

 

Can you tell me about your learning difference(s)? What specific challenges did you have in school? In second grade I was diagnosed with a learning disability, but it wasn’t until I was an adult that I was diagnosed with ADHD. In fact, I had a very difficult time finding someone willing to evaluate me as an adult and as someone who had previously done evaluations on students myself. I finally found someone to do the evaluation and got the diagnosis. That was a big missing piece of understanding my own learning differences that had finally fallen into place.

 

The teachers would tell my parents that I wasn’t reaching my full potential, but no one had any idea how to help me. Math was always a struggle for me and reading took a long time because of a processing challenge. I was held back a grade when I changed from a public to parochial school, which further stigmatized and isolated me. I was the oldest kid in my grade. Everybody knew I was different, that I had some kind of learning disability. I was 12 going on 13 in a class with 10 year-olds. I felt so alone. My teachers didn’t know how to teach me – they just thought I couldn’t learn. I had no after school activities, no social life, because I spent hours with tutors and on homework. I felt like a burden – like it was my fault I couldn’t learn, and I started to internalize everything. I was profoundly unhappy.

 

The small class sizes and individualized instruction at DVFriends were game-changers for me. I spent most of my first year at DVFriends working on understanding my own learning style, and that’s when I discovered my love of writing. Being at DV was the first time I enjoyed learning and I was actively involved in my own learning process. The teachers weren’t trying to change me, to make me into something I wasn’t. They accepted me and helped me figure out what I needed. I wasn’t alone anymore. I wasn’t struggling anymore. I didn’t feel bad asking for help – I learned self-advocacy, and I had fun. I was smiling again.

 

Are there specific ways that the teachers at DVFriends helped you with your learning difference? Any strategies, tools, techniques that you took with you to college or into your work life?

When I began teaching, I had to discover what kind of teacher I was going to be. I found that I modeled teachers from Delaware Valley Friends School. My students’ needs come first. Getting students out of their seats is my priority. The best learning stems from activity, doing and hands-on learning, and I definitely experienced that first-hand at DV.

 

Irene McHenry was the head of school and I had Gray Goodman for Social Studies. Our classrooms were old dorm rooms. It was fun. I had never had school be fun before. Everyone was respectful, no one was looked down on for their differences. I started to become more confident and spoke up more. I spent a lot of time in the writing room – that’s what I wanted to do, so it was great to have that interest encouraged.

 

DVFriends gave me a new perception of what a teacher is and what a really great teacher should be. The teachers at DVFriends treated me like a person and saw my value. The experience shaped what kind of teacher I wanted to become. Having a learning difference, I am actually a better teacher for my students because I’ve been there. I knew I was smart, I just needed to do things a different way. As a teacher now, I see that the scaffolding and differentiation I experienced at DVFriends was incredibly powerful. The other aspect of a DVFriends education that is so valuable for students is self-advocacy. DVFriends taught me to self-advocate and speak up in college when I didn’t understand or needed an accommodation. I was sensitive about my learning difference, but everyone at DVFriends had an LD so I wasn’t as self-conscious. After DVFriends, I didn’t tell people about my learning differences for a long time. The nurturing and supportive atmosphere at Pepperdine also helped me feel safe enough to reveal my own learning differences to my cohort of fellow students. I decided it was time to stop being afraid. Once that was out, I was free. I started to write about it. I was excited and discovered that my passion was to advocate for kids so they don’t have to go through what I went through in school. I have to help students with learning differences get to college and succeed. I’m an idealistic dreamer, but dreaming leads to innovation, and maybe what I create or establish hasn’t been thought of or imagined yet.